Tears trickling down my cheeks burning my skin. Causing rashes and bruises made from painful memories and haunting hurts. A long line of heartbreaks lining up outside my door and it never seems to end. Yet he wipes away every tear not saying a word. Comforts me in hugs of love and compassion telling me it will be okay. I fall into his arms and remain there. Crying myself till I fall asleep. Only to wake up and realize it was all a dream. It was a dream, but it felt so real.
Sometimes we get caught up in our past and when we pray or cry out to God, he seems silent. I’ve learnt that he doesn’t yell either. He is gentle and kind hearted. As for now I know I may not understand whats happening & WHY. But I know one day it will all make sense.
Sparkles of the breeze of the wind are dusted off her face as she wipes it away. The emotions are spoken through her eyes. It shows what’s hidden within her soul. The deeper you dig, the more you will find. Acceptance has finally found its place in her life. There is nothing more she can do. She has fought this battle long enough on her own. But she can’t stay here. She’s walking away. Her quietness speaks of empty promises made, broken words thrown at her and shattered memories that never turned out to be good. Broken is who she is. Broken is what she breathes and broken is what beats in her heart. She will never be the same again. Her childhood has left her, her loved ones have passed on. All she wants to do is be real with her lord. That’s why she sits there fragile, broken and damaged in front of his throne. Whether he judges her or not is up to him. She is done. She doesn’t want to fight anymore. She doesn’t want to run, walk or crawl. All she wants is to sleep and never wake up again. She is strong..but she is tired.
One last tear slid down her face. Quietly breathing in the last breathe of peace that seemed to hang in the air. Exhaling the stress that once over took her life and continually did so, she kept on walking. She ran before but now she’s walking. Soon enough she’ll be crawling on her knees where her knees will be scraped by the darkness that hid deep beneath the soil. Her life wasn’t an easy one. She tried to change what she couldn’t. She couldn’t help but accept the fact that some things will never be the same again. Over and over her heart has been shattered. Over and over it kept breaking until one gently blow from the wind smashed it until it scattered all over her. Cuts digging deep beneath her skin, seeping into the very flesh that once held her heart. She didn’t want to fight anymore. She had enough. She had given up.
She walked along the beach near by and sat down comfortably on the sand that layed beneath her. Running through her mind as each chaptered scene played out her life. Memories, so much memories! Where did they all go? It felt as if it was erased in one moment never to return. She could still hear the laughter, the smell of food every Sunday. The voices of her relatives being around her. Her heart broke then. It broke softly and melted into a mushy sand like substance. Embracing the breeze one more time, she closed her eyes and the wind brush away her cares, worries and pain. She stood up and decided to walk on and walk strong. Even though things weren’t the same, she had to carry on. It was the only way.