She cried and turned away from him
Only to have him catch her tears
She ran away from him and hid herself
Only to find out he was near
So she walked a path and lost her way
Only by him that she was found
She was being carried by Jesus Himself
When he saw her crawling on the ground
She gave it her all and felt so weak
And realized she made it by his strength
She didn’t want to live anymore
But he was merciful till her last breath
So when she reached the gates of heaven itself
She wondered where Jesus was
She walked in the gates as it opened
Only to have fallen right in his arms
His love welcomed her
And wiped away all her tears
Thats when she realized
That he was always there
Laid before her was the life she had lived. The life she’d fought in, cried in, rejoiced in and had joyful moments. It was like a sunset with different colours shimmering the oceans spark. It was like a reflection of the sunset that fell upon the waters. She just sat there. She never moved. She was still. She was breathing in the peace that entered her presence as he drew near to sit next to her. Her head fell upon his shoulder and remained there.
As they both gazed into this memorable sunset, not a word was said. It was as if time had faded, noise grew silent and peace became frozen still. Even the whispers of the wind were not to be heard.
He said not a word. He just remained next to her. His presence was enough. She needed nothing else. He was a friend. A friend who was there before she was born. A friend who was there before she knew him and a friend after she knew him. He was and will always be there for her.
Tears flowed down her face. Tears that spoke words on its own. A flood of tears emerging in her eyes as they asked questions of their own. Why?
Every tear that dropped from her eyes, he counted. He could feel the warmth, broken heart and love in the tears that slowly dripped one by one. He felt her pain and his heart broke just for her. He loved her and he’d be crucified and die for her one last time, even if she was the only person on earth. She was worth the sacrifice.
Time had gone by already as they glanced into the distance and realized a sunrise was just peaking over into the ocean. Thats when he got up and offered her his hand. She looked at him, heart shattered, confused mind and weary body. Her eyes asked him if she could trust him like all the other times he offered her his hand. This time, she reached out for his hand and he helped her stand up. Taking one last look out into the sunrise, she knew that it was time to move on. Time to let go and let God.
I awoke in a place where clouds were everywhere. I could see tall gates open and a bright beautiful gold light shone through.I stood there amazed at how beautiful this light was. It was so beautiful that I could feel the warmth from the very far distance I was standing. In a blink of an eye, this warmth of light engulfed and embraced me. I couldn’t understand what was happening. I didn’t even think. Suddenly, I saw words starting to appear. Agape Love, Beautiful, Warmth, Joy, Peace, Understanding. Suddenly I could hear whispers echoing around me. “I love you”. I couldn’t keep the tears away from my eyes.
Tears of pain splashed in the presence of this light but it dissappeared. Hurt felt in my heart was gripping onto me tightly. But he said to me “Let it go”. I couldn’t understand what was happening. It felt like love was wrapped around me. Assuring me that everything will be okay. I looked up and said to him, I will trust you the best I can. But after awhile I walked away. Thats when he took me by the hand and he said to me “I will carry you. I love you”.
I gave up. I didn’t run. I didn’t even hide. I just stood there as fear looked me right in the eye. I stood there as fear wrapped itself around me. I stood there and fear choked the very life out of me. I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t care. Even gasping for air was worthless to me. I didn’t want to live. I took every chance I could to heal. I took every chance I could for my heart to be whole again. But it failed. I failed. I tried to be strong. But sometimes being strong isn’t strong enough.
One last tear slid down her face. Quietly breathing in the last breathe of peace that seemed to hang in the air. Exhaling the stress that once over took her life and continually did so, she kept on walking. She ran before but now she’s walking. Soon enough she’ll be crawling on her knees where her knees will be scraped by the darkness that hid deep beneath the soil. Her life wasn’t an easy one. She tried to change what she couldn’t. She couldn’t help but accept the fact that some things will never be the same again. Over and over her heart has been shattered. Over and over it kept breaking until one gently blow from the wind smashed it until it scattered all over her. Cuts digging deep beneath her skin, seeping into the very flesh that once held her heart. She didn’t want to fight anymore. She had enough. She had given up.
She walked along the beach near by and sat down comfortably on the sand that layed beneath her. Running through her mind as each chaptered scene played out her life. Memories, so much memories! Where did they all go? It felt as if it was erased in one moment never to return. She could still hear the laughter, the smell of food every Sunday. The voices of her relatives being around her. Her heart broke then. It broke softly and melted into a mushy sand like substance. Embracing the breeze one more time, she closed her eyes and the wind brush away her cares, worries and pain. She stood up and decided to walk on and walk strong. Even though things weren’t the same, she had to carry on. It was the only way.
Tossing and turning during sleepless nights. She feels the moon light softly burning her skin. She feels the stars sparkle falling upon her as she opened her eyes. Again, she cannot sleep. It had been a weeks time before she realized that she couldn’t understand why. Why her? Why does everyone else around her seem to be happy and moving on with life? Why does everything still seem the same even though people say God has a plan for her? What plan? Was there even a plan? Was there ever a God? Did he exist? Did he love her? As many more questions plagued her mind, she sat up and let out a stressful sigh. What am I doing here? Why am I here? Am I meant to be here or am I an accident? Memories. Too many memories flooding her mind as pecks of tear filled eyes and found its way to her cheeks and then to her lips. She could taste the bitterness but warm tear drops that continuously sunk into her mouth. She closed her eyes once more and laid down to sleep. She sat up again . Maybe things will change. Maybe they won’t. She couldn’t help but hope for the worst, cause the worst was all she lived. the day she went into hospital. Her heart beat slowly as she fell back into her pillows and fell asleep.
She stands alone in the dark except a dimlight that shines only upon her very being. Surrounded by quietness of suspicion, she can sense all eyes on her. It’s as if she’s on stage and there is an invisible audience watching her every move. Waiting patiently to see her take her next step. The coldness of the air begins to seep in her surroundings. She starts to shiver as she slowly buries her face into her palms. Frustration overtakes her being as she shouts her lungs out “LET ME OUTTA HERE!”. She then falls apart emotionally and looks around, trying to see if there was a way out. But all she could see was pure darkness. Pitch black. With the only sound being the echo of her sobbing & weeping. Water from her eyes fall lightly, dissolving into the ground. She falls to the ground, cuddles her knees near her chest with her face hidden as all hope was truly lost. She was abandoned. She had nothing left but herself in the end. She was all alone.