Time to go back…

Have you ever just had that thought, where everything is weighing down on your shoulders. When you’ve tried to find your way out. When you remember all the struggles you’ve been through and you’ve just grown tired. You’re sick and tired of being sick and tired. But then comes along this man that everyone says is full of love. A Love that can only come from above. A special word called “Agape” Love. I’ve wondered for many years if God loved me. You see, I knew he did, but, i realized all these years I’ve struggled if he REALLY did. I don’t know if this is God drawing me near him or drawing me closer. I don’t know whats going on and why my heart is being stirred up. I have strayed from him. I have reached the end of my own journey of walking WITHOUT him. If I could just………i don’t know… something. Maybe I’ll be able to reach him. Be the woman he wants me to be. But when it comes down to love, I realize, its love that i need the most. I never loved myself, i always had grudges held against someone, still have people i haven’t forgiven and other things. I somehow got lost in all the “rules” and “do this and that” , that I forgot where it all started. At the foot of the cross, at love. I remember when i first came to Christ, I Prayed and he answered them. Then I grew in him. I wasn’t raised in the church. I knew about God. But all i knew was his name and that we pray to him when we need help or are in trouble. I remember I had such a passion for him in the beginning of my walk with him. I would walk around with my folder saying “God loves you”, I didn’t care what people thought. I would love reading the word, I would love singing praises to him and so much more. I just wanna show people that they’re not the only ones who go astray. We all go astray at some point. Sometimes its hard to find your way back and thats where i’m up to at the moment – Finding my way back. All I know is that i need to go back to where it started. To love. To the foot of the cross.

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